We welcome a new poet to Poetry Non-Stop for NaPoWriMo day four – Holly Marie Shakeshaft. Holly shares a poem on the theme of pain and discusses how we can write about painful and traumatic experiences. As Holly says, take care of yourself and don’t feel you have to write about anything that’s too recent or painful to dwell on.
Sucker
The pages of the cookbook unfurled
Along with my misplaced infatuation.
I was blind.
I made you spaghetti
With black olives and red wine
Olives glistened like wet leeches, bulging
Sucking me dry.
Wine spattered like blood, spilt
Poured into a recipe
Along with my entire self
(You hollowed me out)
Spaghetti,
Like giant worms.
A parasite
The kind you pick up from
Contaminated water.
A lamb to the slaughter.
I made us spaghetti
But now I can’t eat a thing
(I can’t feel my own bones inside of me)
Something eroded them
Like chalk
My heart, a bruised apple
Blackened and cold
Wrapped in your mould
Abandoned
On the orchard floor
Except for, the wasps –
Who devour it from the core with
Spiky jaws.
There are wasps filling my mouth and
my body.
Abrasive, turning me to ash, and then
the buzzing relents, before
Silence.
But not peace.
Do not buy me soap from hot countries,
Do not lie
Do not steal my skin and expose me to your
elements.
You threw me away.
I threw the soap in the bin.
I cleansed with my own soap
Lathered away the sabotage
And allowed life to drip back
Into my veins
Filtered
Like minerals
Through dirt.
I spring forth.
Holly Marie Shakeshaft
Holly has moved around a lot but finally feels settled in Norwich. She says: “I currently work in the civil service but my time outside of work is important to me, as I have the time to write, read books, immerse myself in live music, visit the beach and be in nature, see my friends, gym and yoga, watch cartoons, horror movies and true crime documentaries, travel whenever I can and work on my new house. I am very spiritual, interested in astrology and witchcraft. I enjoy birdwatching, which I inherited from my Grandma. I am also a huge animal lover – I miss my pet rats and I plan on getting more. And a dog!”
For more NaPoWriMo tips and writing prompts check out the book Poetry Non-Stop.
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